you stand in front of the mirror and want to scream. you want to scream at the pain. you want to scream at the anger. you want quit. you want end all that is wrong at that moment.
you woke up with a maddening shround. you wake up shaking with amounts of adrenaline that your tiny body cannot contain.
your wrong foot is out to ruin your day.
but somewhere in the blitz of your fists and the shouts and pulls of people. you end up staring at your cause. you are close to being murderous. but somewhere. deep deep deep, hidden and slowing revealing comes a word.
who.
next a new word formed in my head and rumbled out my whisper.
is.
fumbling at something to come.
determining.
forcing greatness to reveal i heard myself saying...
who is determining your happiness.? it wasn't some fancy, life changing, fluffy quote.
it was declaration. it was a moment. it was a concious decision. it was a second and fleeting moment, where you decide something deep within you!
i decided that i was the only one responsible for my happiness, i was fully implied to my own happiness. so many time you bent yourself to fit yourself. i decided i would choose.
after a post-it moment. after a sinking in moment. i got dressed. i picked up my bag.
my hand touched the handle.
the wrong foot hit the other side... (and that's the thing with me) the right foot stepped towards happiness.
i am happy in the weakest of moments.
Love*
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